Know Your Worth

By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Watch how you allow people in your life to treat you, because you are teaching them the ways you accept being treated. If a person uses harsh words with you and you allow it, then they will continue to speak to you in this manner. You show people exactly what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to you, whenever you interact with them.

You are responsible for setting the boundaries whether you do it in person or by any other means of communication. Love and respect yourself, while commanding respect from those who are in your inner circle. Never let them talk down to you or call you names, especially a partner just because they are angry with you.

You should never have to tolerate this behavior from anyone, so put your foot down and walk away from anyone who disrespects you. Know your worth and establish what you will not tolerate from the beginning of the friendship. Never allow someone to slide when they treat you bad because of some excuse that they have given you like: they had a bad day or your being difficult.

You deserve to be treated like a queen or a king, so hold your head up high and walk away from the nonsense that you have chosen not to accept. However, remember you can forgive them but don’t ever let the repeat the behavior that hurt you in the first place. Draw your battle lines and play to win, because only you can control how people treat you.

Copyrighted © 2019

(PS: I am not a licensed therapist. Based on personal experience.)


Take A Break

By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Sometimes, you just need a break from your life, whenever certain things become overwhelming for you. Honestly, you may need to de-stress for a few days on a vacation or rest for several weeks. A vacation from your everyday routine like work and home may actually help bring your anxiety level down. This will also allow you to make better decisions, because you will not be completely overwhelmed by stress or anxiety.

Many times, you can change employers or jobs, if you they find that your work environment has become the main stressor in your life. Nevertheless, sometimes you will need to schedule an appointment with a mental health professional. You may need weekly or monthly therapy sessions with a professional therapist, who can teach you coping skills to use whenever you feel anxious or overwhelmed.

You may also have an underlying mental illness, which can only be prescribed by a psychiatrist who is licensed to manage medications. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, because you will find that the first step is the hardest and every step from there will get easier. You will learn ways to cope with your personal anxiety or issues, as well as learn ways to combat other emotions you may feel like anger or depression.

Only you can change your life, but it doesn’t hurt to ask for help from a family member or a licensed mental health counselor. Honestly, you may just need to take a break from your life by taking a vacation or just relaxing for a few days. Don’t hesitate to change your job or home life, especially if that is what is causing your anxiety or issues. Remember, taking a short break from life is not giving up, instead you are learning to rest and relax when you need it!

Copyrighted ©2019

(PS: I am not a licensed therapist. Based on personal experience!)

Don’t Be Afraid to Smile Again

By, Crystal S. Kauffman

Sometimes, your past mistakes will cause you to feel guilty and depressed, even though you have changed your life. However, you have a undeniable right to smile again, regardless what anyone else thinks or says. As long as you are trying to make amends and stay on the right path, even when it seems difficult.

The struggle between the old you and the new you, will absolutely be the biggest obstacle you will face throughout your journey. Hang on to each moment you have, because every day will have its own set of challenges to face and overcome as you grow. Run as fast as you can, away from the people and situations, which drag your heart through hell.

Reach out only for those hands that gently build you up as you continue to grow and build your dreams. Never allow someone to purposely tear you down, just because they want to be judge and jury over your life. No one has the right to make you feel like you are worthless, so guard your heart from people who seem to just continue hurting you.

Just smile through your tears, as you keep moving forward and building the best life you can possible build. Only you know what matters to you, so start doing little things that allow you to smile again. Each day, there will be countless number of reasons to give up but you are not a quitter. Don’t allow anyone to steal your joy, because you earned the right to smile again.

Copyrighted 2019

PS: I am not a licensed therapist. Based on personal experience.

The Cost Of A Rumor

By, Imogen Rayne

Did you know vile rumors can cause damage to a person’s reputation and can actually destroy a person’s life? Sometimes people are so mean to a person that they spread rumor that are not true to deliberately hurt the person that they have targeted. These misleading rumors about drug use or something even worse reaches their family and they end up separated from those they love. Next, the victim loses their job because someone told the employer about the latest gossip about their employee.

Some malicious people spread rumors to deliberately hurt people, which is why it is vital to pick out the right friends to hang around. Loyalty is a quality that not everyone has and it is not easy to find out who started the rumor. But, with a little work and perseverance, you can find out who started the rumor. Keep your head once you find them, and ask them why they felt the need to spread such vile things about you?

Your relationship with this person will never be the same, because they have broken your trust. Plus, you cannot just allow them to hurt you again. The rumor mill may or may not die down, but you know the truth and that alone is all that matters. Always protect yourself by not allowing just anybody to be in your private circle of people that you trust. Hold your head high and let your actions show that the rumors are not true, while rebuilding your new life.

Copyright 2019

{I am not a Licensed Therapist. Based on personal experience.}

Change Your Future

Starting over elsewhere may be exactly what you need to get out of the rut you seem to be stuck in lately. Sometimes, just going where someone doesn’t know your past mistakes can help you heal more than therapy. Trying to live with everyone’s constant judgement can weigh you down with guilt over your past mistakes. How can you move forward when no one will allow you to escape the guilt and shame?

Stop letting people disappoint you and talk down to you, just because they have not forgiven you. Admitting you made a bad choice and work on changing your life. Start by evaluating your close friends and family, in order to decide who you want to be in your life. If you need to move, then create a plan to begin transitioning to your new place. Decide what you will tolerate and what you won’t tolerate, as you begin picking up the pieces of your life.

You have to believe in your own self and stay positive, while trying to rebuild your life. No one has a right to put you down or degrade you. So, with that said, be careful who you allow into your personal space. Don’t let anyone who is toxic in your circle of friends and family.This will keep you on the right track as you moved forward in your journey to recovery. Additionally, pick up hobbies that you enjoy and try to stay out of your own head.

Copyrighted 2019 by, Crystal Kauffman

(PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist. Based on Personal Experience.)

I AM Broken; Not Toxic!

I am still trying to heal from an enormous amount of pain that no one should have to endure in life. No one sees the invisible disgusting scars that rid my soul, which I see every day in the mirror. I can never explain how destroyed I am, by the certain vile people who abused me. Now, I fake a smile and keep moving forward, while the little girl inside of me begs for a safe harbor.

Most days, I wake up feeling numb and angry at myself for all that I allowed regardless of my age. I should of fought back harder, instead of freezing and allowing the abuse that I felt I couldn’t stop. Other days, I feel like I am just something to be used and tossed aside like most everyone does.

I can’t even see myself in the mirror, due to the vast number of invisible scars that only I can see. However, I have tried so hard to fix what is broken inside me. However, every time I start putting those pieces back that were shattered years ago, I just find the pieces are jagged and they just wont fit anymore.

I try to trust in God, but then I wondered how he could even love someone like me? Why would any one want me, since I am just damaged filth that everyone has left behind? Why did God allow you to victimized repeatedly, by those that said that they loved me? Most of the time, the evil entered my life through those I loved.

Unfortunately, so many toxic people entered my life and begin systematically ripping my innocence away…piece by piece! They groommed me and showed me a violent brand of love that is painfully seared into my memory. They told me I was that special to them and that love will always hurt…especially for me!

I prayed to this powerful God that everyone speaks of, but night after night he didn’t show up. Only the evil, that lives just beyond my door seems to visit regularly. I began to pray for healing but I know that the scars are still there. Now, I just ask yourself, “How do I heal my broken soul, when God is so silent?”

To those who view me as toxic, actually need to understand that I AM broken on inside. I am trying to smile on the outside, but I am full of pain on the inside. Truthfully, drugs have never taken away the pain and drinking just makes me stupid. So, with that said, I choose to trust in God and know that I will heal one day…even with the invisible scars!

Copyright 2019, Crystal S. Kauffman

(PS: I am not a Licensed Therapist. Based on Personal Experience.)

Are Your Excuses Holding You Back?

Sometimes, you hold yourself back from experiencing something exciting or new in your life, because you become resistant to change. Unfortunately, you hide behind your long list of excuses, which you have created to protect yourself from what you think may be a painful or bad experience. You choose to stay home, instead of making an appearance at our loved one’s special events or other community functions. You don’t want to suffer the anxiety of not knowing what may happen, once you leave our self-made comfort zone you have created.

The truth is that you have become so complacent in your own excuses that you tend to miss out on some incredible moments with the people you truly love. You unintentionally hold yourself back from having a good time, because you cannot get out of your own damn head. Basically, you choose to let your excuses determine the type of life that you will live from day to day. Soon, you stop having fun with the people you love and you begin to self-destruct from overthinking or guilt.

You should try visiting your loved ones or going on an outing, even if you don’t stay for very long or even stay for the entire event. Honestly, we must not allow yourself to be controlled by excuses caused by your own insecurities or anxieties. You must break out of the cage that your mind has put you into, since you began hiding behind your excuses. Always remember, that you are have a right to smile and to feel loved, but you cannot feel it sitting on your couch alone and hiding from the part of the world that has disappointed you.

You will feel different emotions a you begin to stick yourself out there again, but you know your alive as long as your heart is still racing. You only so much time on this earth and you can hide with excuses or open yourself up to feel the passion of every moment with people who love you. Time to choose your future path, now that you recognize that you are actually hurting yourself by continuing to isolate yourself.

Copyrighted by, 2019, Crystal S. Kauffman