Written By, Crystal S. Kauffman
Any form of abusive relationships will bring some heartbreaking and yet real storms in your life, because your lover is the very person abusing you. This type of marriage or relationship will completely shatter your inner spirit and break your mind, while guiding you towards major depression. Now, sex is nothing, conflict is constant, and you feel like you are not worth anything not even someone’s time. These toxic relationships steal your joy, peace of mind and security, and bring unnecessary drama and/or conflict in your life.
Putting Yourself First
Now, you are literally picking up each jagged little piece of your heart and you are trying to learn how to be a survivor. Recovery starts when you decide to stand up and stop the abuse in safe manner for yourself and your children, if needed. Keep the motivation for becoming a survivor, by remembering that your abuser will blame you for things that you are not doing like: cheating and lying. Yet, the abuser is the one who is taking your power away while causing you pain by: lying, and/or cheating.
I Don’t Deserve This
Mind games are the hardest part of the recovery as a survivor because you are stuck on trying to understand what happened? You are asking yourself, why did this person that you adore, so damn mean to you. They convince you that you deserve to be put down for your weight or whatever they think is bad or wrong with you. The abusive partner will place blame on you, because they have to make you the bad guy in every situation.
Focus On Fixing Yourself
However, why lay around wondering why you are not good enough for someone to care and love without the abuse or pain? Instead, start working on your self-esteem, by fixing the things that make you sad in your everyday life. Always focus on becoming a better version of yourself each new day and soon you will have the strength to walk away from the abuse. The survivor truly has a broken mind and spirit that causes depression and sadness in a person, which can lead to some really bad choices.
Planning a Safe Exit
The survivor of any type of abuse will mostly likely believe the abuser’s main lie, because they are groomed and controlled by their emotions. An abuser tends to isolate the victim during the relationship, so they gain their trust and cause issues with everyone else in the victim’s life. They may start conflict with the victim’s family and friends, which causes the victim to lose those personal connections. Survivor will reconnect with family and friends to create an exit plan, which will provide a safe way to leave.
Keep Moving Forward
Get help and counseling now, because you are beautiful and your abuser did not care about you or your feelings. The abuser began tearing you down, taking your power, and breaking your spirit, as well as messing with your mind. You are a survivor, so hold your head up and take back your power by building your life without this person in it. Make sure you tell them to kick rocks and never allow them to return under any circumstance.